Don’t Think About a Pink Elephant: What To Do About Looping Thoughts.

There is a concept in psychology called the “ironic process theory”. Often, when instructed not to think about something, we find ourselves thinking ONLY about that item. 

This gets a little sticky when trying to go to sleep and then finding worrisome, anxious, looping thoughts in your head. (This is also called “ruminating”.) And being a mature, smart person who understands that these thoughts are preventing you from falling asleep, you politely tell them to take a hike. And then you tell them “please, I need to sleep, this is too much…” and then usually, the thoughts are looping and there it feels like there is absolutely nothing you can do to get rid of them.

Often, what’s happening is like telling someone to think about anything but a pink elephant; they will find themself thinking ONLY about a pink elephant. When you tell the thoughts to go away, that is essentially keeping them running in your head, looping and coming back and back again.

What’s there to be done?

Disclaimer: If anyone is experiencing severe mental struggle, please reach out to a licensed therapist or psychiatrist who can help you.

One tiny but powerful tool that I recommend to my clients is something that looks so small but can have a real effect. Choose one of your five senses - sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste - and just focus on that for 30 seconds. Just notice it existing in your environment. See the buttons on your sweater or the pattern on the sheets. Hear the hum of the heater or the washing machine in the next room. Feel the cool underside of your pillow. 

Best practice is to get used to doing this BEFORE you are feeling absolutely stuck in the racing thoughts at 3 am. Choose a random time of day to just experience your immediate environment and simply notice it. When eating a snack, enjoy the flavor and the crunch. Smell your dinner before you eat it.

Why does this help?

When you focus on your environment, you aren’t trying (usually unsuccessfully) to think about something else. Focusing outward, noticing your surroundings, will actually get your OUT of your head for a minute, leaving you able to breathe out, relax, and find sleep faster. It gives your mind a break from all the racing- and whew, does it need it!

Best of luck!

To a good night’s sleep,

Esti Terris

Integrative Sleep Coach